Rolayo's Journal is the very interesting story of a young lady. It's a journal that showcases what she passes through- the fun times, the not-so-fun times, the temptations and the trials of her every day life. It's a journal being kept for her unborn child who she plans to call-"Kikelomo"....It's being featured on this blog occasionally on Tuesdays. Just incase you missed the last journal entry you could catch up HERE
Here's the 32nd journal entry...Enjoy!
Title: "Finding Love"
You might be in the stage where it seems like everyone around you is finding love, and making commitments or falling in love, but you’re just there- with no one to call your own. If you’re like me, most days you’d be okay with it, because maybe you’re single by choice, or maybe you just aren’t ready (yet) for all of that drama. But on some other days, you may long to have something more- greater friendships, someone you share a deep understanding with, even love.
What I think is that you need to calm down and take it slow- one step at a time. In my experience, I passed through many phases in my state of being “single”. The earliest phase was more like, “Ain’t no body got time for that!”. It was a stage where I was totally unaffected by all the love that was flowing in the air, and on display. I just didn’t care that much about having a special someone.
Then there was the stage where I started to wonder if I was being too picky. Several times people would “advise” me to step down the qualities on my list for my Mr. Perfect. Hian! As if I had made a list in the first place. There are obviously certain qualities that you want whoever you choose to be in a relationship with to have. Some of these qualities may be deeper than others, but then, they are admirable attributes all the same. Back to the point... There was that stage where I began to wonder if I was being too picky. One of my good friends joked once that I was being too serious about the whole thing. He was like, “ just pick one person from these guys that are trying to get your attention! Grab one by the collar and be like, ‘it is you!’ ”. Hahaa!
Another phase I passed through was one where I assessed guys who I came across as potential soul mates. LoL! This one is funny because I just had a feeing that, “Yes! This is the time... the time is now! My star-crossed lover and I are bound to meet any moment from now, so I have to be on the alert”. For where! Star crossed lover dinnoh show at all o! Mscheew. I don’t even know what was wrong with me sef.
After a while I got tired of all the alertness and I began to run away. I ran away from every guy who tried to fix a date, or get too close, or anything like that. There was a valid reason though... At the time, it just seemed like all the guys who offered their shoulders in friendship wanted something more and abeg! I just couldn’t deal. I know that I may have blocked out some great friendships in doing so, but it just seemed to save a lot of stress and unnecessary emotional chit-chats.
There were certain friendships that came from this too.. Like one of the greatest friends I have ever known- worked in the same establishment and met somehow. Talked a bit once in a while, and then offered that we have lunch. Of course sirens started blowing in my head, “Run sister! Run!”. I didn’t run, because I didn’t want to come across as rude or a snob.” Lunch day came, and as we sat to eat, he whips out his phone and showed me a picture of his girlfriend- we hadn’t even spent 15 minutes there. I was in awe and impressed and full of respect and calmed down totally, and that’s how I got a great friend :-)
My legs started hurting from running away... and I got to the point where I had to be honest with myself, I didn't have a clue how to decide. If I wanted, I could have just gone with whoever my head was pointing at, but that would have meant bypassing my soul and spirit. If I wanted to play, I could have grabbed a random good looking gentleman by his collar, and looked into his eyes and been like,”it is you!”. Hehee! But then, more than anything, I always want God’s best in my life per time. So... no. I got to a stage where I was satisfied with my status, and sure that sooner than later, I would be able to connect on a whole other level with another human being for whatever purpose that there is to it. And I realise that all the lessons I’ve been learning are to make me a bit more prepared to be a blessing to the people I meet along the way.
So the whole point of this long epistle is, at any point in time in your life where you are single, keep calm and be patient- your special someone can’t wait to be with you.