Friday, May 8, 2015

Love Talk: Do You Respect Your Spouse's Right Of Intimacy?


The day you said ‘I do’ to your spouse, you gave him or her the “Right of Intimacy’ with you. Intimacy has a lot to do in ensuring you have a very peaceful, grudges-free marriage. Because this right has been shelved in most marriages, most couples end up having an unsatisfying sex life. They no longer enjoy making love with each other for some reasons. It may be as a result of a busy schedule on the part of one of the partners or both. It may also be because of health issues while it may be because they’ve lost that initial spark that brought about intimacy between them.

All married couples are entitled to have satisfying sex with each other because it is a very important part of intimacy and marriage. Without mincing words, it is one of the reasons why marriage was instituted. They are supposed to have adequate sex so as to avoid infidelity or affairs that may ruin the marriage.


I once saw a movie in which the woman filed for divorce just because she wasn’t getting adequate sex from her husband. Of course it may not be enough reason but she justified the step she took saying that she would rather end the marriage than cheat on her husband.

So many people are hungry for that intimacy with their partner. They find themselves often begging for it from the other person. The truth is that the degree at which we love having sex differs. While some can go weeks or even months without it, some cannot do without it just for 3 days. They begin to act weird like something is missing for them.

Women most times demand for more sex in marriages. Maybe because a woman’s body has changed due to childbirth or she has declined in beauty due to age; the husband may not find her as attractive as he did before they got married. The woman on the other hand may still love sex as much as she did and therefore may feel neglected.

On the other hand, some men love sex more than their wives. A man who still finds his wife as attractive as when they first met or who just naturally loves having fun may be overly demanding to his wife. The woman may not always be in the mood when the husband is.

The truth is; husbands and wives have THE RIGHT TO HAVE SEX WITH EACH OTHER. They both should be ready to satisfy the other when the need arises. The important thing that should be in their individual minds when making love should be how to give pleasure to and satisfy the other i.e. they should not be self-centred.

I remember a lady I once spoke with who told me her husband demands for sex only when he sees she’s very weak, ill or almost helpless. She complained that’s the only time he finds her attractive and that she seldom enjoys making love with him. I told her she had to sit him down so they can talk about it and decide how to work things out because they both need to enjoy it….. adequate communication is important!

Making love with your partner has a lot to do with your mind, soul and body. It’s a wholistic thing which you have to be involved in. You can’t be making love with your husband while thinking of the left over job on your desk in the office. He has to feel the connection between you both. That is when the satisfaction can be there.

Please note that sex with your partner is your right as long as it is done when you’re both in the mood for it. The atmosphere must be right and the fun must be there.

That your spouse wronged you is also not enough reason for you to deprive him/her of the right to make love to you. That shouldn’t be the punishment for situations like that.

Also, some men forcefully sleep with their wives whenever they want to, without caring whether she is actually ready for it or not. That is totally wrong. She’s your wife! Therefore, you should know how to put her in the right mood and make her want you as much as you want her.

On the other hand, some men decide not to make love to their wives because she keeps getting pregnant. There are of course certain proactive measures that may be put in place in order to avoid this. This is not enough reason for you to deprive her of her right.

Lastly, study the mood of your husband or wife, their state of health and try to know if there are no issues clouding his/her mind before demanding for sex.

It is true you may be horny anytime but there should always be a mutual agreement between you both before a satisfying sex round(s) can happen.

Couples, respect each other’s right and have a fun-filled marriage!

Cheers,
Bukola Oyetunji

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