Rolayo's Journal is the very interesting story of a young lady. It's a journal that showcases what she passes through- the fun times, the not-so-fun times, the temptations and the trials of her every day life. It's a journal being kept for her unborn child who she plans to call-"Kikelomo"....It's being featured on this blog occasionally on Tuesdays. Just incase you missed the last journal entry you could catch up HERE
Here's the 27th journal entry...Enjoy!
Title: ".....While Deciding What I Think...."
Recently, I had a really long conversation with a friend of mine, and one of the things we talked about was a question I have heard several times: Is love a decision, or is love a feeling? Well, not like we both know and understand these things for sure, but then we tried to search for an answer.
I’m always a big fan of an epic love story- be it in a movie, or a friend’s. Everyone should have one of those- where everything is just huge. The first moment should have wind blowing through the girl’s hair (except she is on dreadlocks or kinky hair). And then there’s awesome music playing in the background, and then eyes lock- magnetic stuff. They know they’ve fallen in love and it’s monumental. LoL! It’s all well and good, but even I know that it’s not the reality. In a world of 7 billion people (according to Justin Bieber), only a hand-full get those (and I haven’t even met one from that handful). What I do know of are pretty awesome love stories- each one unique, usually through a space of time.
Just because I can be a very sentimental somebody, I’ll say love is both ways. Sometimes, it’s the feelings that kick off the whole thing, when they touch, it’s electric; when they first meet, their faces are tattooed in each other’s memories; in short, they are attracted to each other. But like someone I don’t know said, “love is when you take away all the touches and feelings and flirting, and you find out that you still CARE for that person.” What the feelings can do, is to make you want to show love to that person. But even the loving part is not only in words, or winks (that’s probably the easy part)- it’s more in actions and how you decide to react.
There was once a young man who came around after I knew him for a while and said something along the lines of being attracted to me... That put me off (maybe it shouldn’t have), because in my mind I was like, “okay, as iyam not now attracted to you nko??” Don’t get me wrong, that’s a lovely place to start from- but it all just seemed somehow shaa. On the other hand, I have been “attracted” to someone else, and it was mutual....but it didn’t end up in a relationship either, because I couldn’t bring myself to choose him- I couldn’t make that decision. The feeling thing was a factor, but it wasn’t important enough to make me come up with a ‘Yes’.
Not too long ago when I had to make some major decisions, I confided in one or two people, and of course I heard different opinions. But one of them gave me advice that I don’t think I’ll forget in a hurry. Paraphrasing, he was like, “who told you you have to be ‘crazy’ about a person to go into a relationship with him/her. It’s a choice! You make the choice to like him/her, and that will drive the emotions. But if emotions determine it, they’ll always come and go,” (It turned out to be true too). Doesn’t that make so much sense tho?! To me, the most authentic piece on love was written by someone I call Brother Paul in a letter to some people like that... It starts with, “love is patient, love is kind.” He goes on to say, “it doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud”. And then he says even more, “it doesn’t dishonour others, isn’t self-seeking, isn’t easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs...” He then ends with, “Love never fails.” If that isn’t a whole lot of deciding, I don’t know what else it is. I’ll leave you to pause and reflect on that. Hehee!