Rolayo's Journal is the very interesting story of a young lady. It's a journal that showcases what she passes through- the fun times, the not-so-fun times, the temptations and the trials of her every day life. It's a journal being kept for her unborn child who she plans to call-"Kikelomo"....It's being featured on this blog occasionally on Tuesdays. Just incase you missed the last journal entry you could catch up HERE
Here's the 26th journal entry...Enjoy!
Title: "When Hearts Are Broken..."
Today, what I think I’m concerned about is heartbreak. No need to hastily judge me, I haven’t made my point yet. I am not writing this while wiping tears from my moist eyes, neither am I writing this while nursing a broken heart. No. It’s actually the opposite. During one of my thinking sessions (LoL!) I realised that heartbreak is not something that you choose to go through. I think that if anyone who has been hurt was given a way out, they would have most likely taken it.
A number of my friends have gone through break-ups- some nasty, and others neater; but still painful. I remember I had a friend who had just had a split with her 4-year boyfriend, and she was burnt. I was so hurt seeing her that way. And all through our conversations I kept wondering why she was so shaken, because I had always gotten the impression she really didn’t like the guy, and she always seemed like she knew they wouldn’t last, so why did it affect her that much?
When you decide to be with someone, I think a number of things have to come into play. A choice is made to commit. Trust grows. Time is spent with each other. A bond grows. It’s not something you can stifle... Yes, you may be able to slow it down, but definitely it just has to be, except of course, one of you or both of you don’t know what their doing. So definitely, when you realise that all that friendship and closeness and comfort has to be thrown out of the window, it’d pinch you small, even if you’re made of steel. (Hehee!)
Look! Even when friends betray you, it hurts. I have learnt MANY MANY things from disappointments. People will lie to you, straight to your face, and then the truth comes out- you’ll feel stupid. People pretend, and then you see their true colours- it would be so annoying. But guess what- that’s life. Is that any reason to not have friends, or shun every chance of love? I am learning to embrace the lessons, however difficult they may be.
This is my line of thought, because really, I don’t think I can accurately explain what a heartbreak is and why it is what it is; but I have a better idea now, more than before. It’s quite different- that pain. If you cut your finger, it hurts, then you can run cool water over it so the bleeding stops and then the healing process begins. But I think the fact that you can see the blood makes it better. When you see that less blood is seeping out, your mind automatically tells you, “less pain”. But when your heart is broken, what is that thing that makes you feel better, and tells you, “less pain”? Well, I don’t think there’s something that helps to reduce the pain. It’s one of those things a person has to feel and hopefully learn from.
Sometimes, we don’t have control over who hurts us in life, but a lot of times, they are hand picked by us. We choose them (whether we know it or not), and give them the access to go on and meddle with our hearts and maybe, throw it against the wall, and watch it shatter right before our eyes.
As I write this, a movie comes to mind. I’m sorry I refer to movies a lot, but I just like them! You can easily google titles, download the movies, and search for the lines that I lift from them. (I really hope Google still exists oo. It helped my education). Back to the matter, in The Fault in Our Stars, Hazel-Grace said to Augustus, who was in love with her, that it wouldn’t work out. She said was like a grenade and she’d blow up everything in her path (she had a terrible case of cancer). Then Augustus- brave guy- replies, “it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” Ummm... While I don’t think that we “humans” approach love and relationships with that same view point, I think I get his point. All he meant was that if by any chance she would fall in love with him, and then break his heart, he would not regret his decision of choosing her in the first place. If you ask me, I would much rather prefer walk carefully beside, and not into the pothole of broken heartedness (beautiful example, LoL!) , but then, this is something that keeps happening to people around me... So this is my way of thinking about it. I hope you are happy with your choices as to who you give the window to “maybe” hurt you.
No wonder King Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
I really hope this wasn’t a sad one *sigh*