Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Must Read: Between Hot Shit & Your Dignity

When I travel by road, I’m usually irritated and angry when people ask the driver to stop so they can buy all sorts. Two reasons why I get angry- the kind of things people buy, like boiled egg (i just hate the smell) and the delay they cause especially when they say they are pressed. Hmmmm. I never knew what it felt like to be pressed while travelling until it happened to me. I attended an owambe in Lag and was to go back to school (Port harcourt) the next day. I however decided to break my journey, stopping in Warri and continuing the following day.  
On that fateful day I went to the park early. I didn’t feel pressed or anything but I was scared considering the fact that I ate party food two days before. When the journey started I was fine except for the normal motion sickness that was a norm for me. When we got about half way I felt the first rumble in my tummy. I shook it off.

Then about 10mins after it came again. I became bothered. I quickly opened my wallet and swallowed a tablet of lomotil I used to carry around. 
Then there was the rumble once again. I became really bothered. I tried to sleep but for where. I started praying for the bus to move faster but that didn’t happen either. Traffic even came out of nowhere. I felt my village people were after me. I prayed harder, all the while calculating my journey from the park to my house should the bus miraculously appear at the park. I got more uncomfortable and the girl beside me noticed as I was shifting around on my seat. I told her what was up. I started sweating profusely and that’s when I knew I had lost the battle. With the last energy left in me I gave a feeble cry ‘driver please stop o’. Trust all these commercial bus drivers, he just pretended not to hear and continued driving. The girl beside me and the other passengers had to help me shout on the driver before he eventually stopped. I ran out with lightning speed, discovered a small bush and did my thing. I was so relieved. It took me about 5mins to recover myself cos I was shaking. 
When I was done I took the walk of shame back to the bus and to my seat at the back. All the passengers were busy telling me ‘doh’ (meaning sorry). I was mortified. My only consolation was that I knew nobody in the bus. As soon as we got to the park I picked up my bag and walked fast fast to my house never looking back.

Lol. I have experienced something similar in school like twice and it wasn't funny at all . Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it?

1 comment:

  1. I experienced it just yesterday. When coming from ibadan. mehn it's an awkward position to be in. It was between my dignity and my mess-ups so I humbly told the passenger sitting with me that I need to ease myself. She asked if i Was hardly pressed my mouth Was too heavy to speak so I just nodded my head to the affirmative. Luckily she shouted to the driver to stop and one elderly man joined in the shout at the driver who tgen stopped in a bush so i could do my thing. the lady was my saving Grace yesterday, she even gave me her bottled water to wash up. Well I was glad I swallowed my pride to speak out, if not it would've been four hours drive of shame. It's best to speak out and let it go, than to think of holding it and then embarrassing yourself and messing the bus & people's noses




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