Saturday, April 11, 2015

If You Find Out Your Spouse Doesn’t Use You As ‘Next of Kin’, What Will You Do?

Usually, people use those who are closest and beloved to them as their next of kin. And automatically, most people assume that in marriages, your spouse should be the closest to you...but it's not always the case. Some people were asked what they will do if they found out their spouses weren’t using them as next of kin,

I’ll do nothing about it-Lola 
I will be unhappy, although there is nothing that I will be able to do. I cannot convince him to start using my name if he doesn’t feel like doing so. I would like to think maybe he had been using that person as his next of kin before we got married. Now that we’re married, I will call his attention to it, but if he insists that he won’t change it, seriously there is nothing to do about it. It is not a big deal to me.
I’ll tell her to change it-Bukki
It’s a very simple matter, I will tell her to change it to my name as soon as possible. If she does as I instruct, fine! If she doesn’t, then I will leave her alone. It doesn’t stop me from performing my role as her husband as I’ll forever be to her until death does us part or Jesus comes. Being her next of kin or not, the matter will be looked into from the perspective of understanding and trust. But really, it is not a serious issue once there is trust in each other. 
We have to discuss and sort it out-Funmi

First, I will ask him why he is doing such a thing because it is not supposed to be so as a couple. If there are underlying reasons why he does it, we will discuss and sort them out because I believe that since I am his wife, I should be in the best position to stand in for him if the need arises and vice-versa. Meanwhile, I believe our first child can be in that position, but that is only when he or she becomes an adult. Prior to that, I should be in that position as a stakeholder in his life and not a ‘sit-down, keep quiet’ housewife.

I’ll ask him questions-Sonia

I see it as a betrayal of trust and love between us because it is not supposed to be so. I should be the closest person to my spouse no matter our differences, which are normal in marriage. That doesn’t call for him not to use me as a mext of kin. If I find out, I will ask him questions and hopefully, I will expect him to use me on other documents going forward. That’s the only way he can atone for his ‘sin’ and restore my confidence in him. 
If I’m rich, I’ll leave her; if I’m not…-Kelvin

There are two things that can happen here. If I have businesses and I am wealthy, I will not bother myself whether she uses me as her next of kin. I will have so many things to attend to than bother myself or not whether a woman uses me as next of kin. In summary, if I have wealth, I will be fine and good. However, I will feel like killing her if I were a poor man and she does such a thing. It’ll be very unsafe for her to treat me like that. You know abundance or lack of money makes you react to issues differently. 

She’s got rights-Kenny

Everyone has rights and the freewill to do whatever suits them. If she feels like I am not worthy of that position on her documents, it’s fine and it will not make me feel annoyed. Although I will ask her questions jokingly about it, I’ll not bother so much about it as I see nothing bad in it. I’m not saying I won’t be worried, though. But if I trust her and believe she can’t harm me in the future, I will leave her. 
It won’t freak me-Zainab

Marriage is full of surprises and this could be one of them. Naturally, it won’t freak me and it will not stop me from trusting him or giving him respect as my husband. All I need to ask him is the reason for doing that. Whether I get a convincing explanation or not, life goes on for me and I will not kill myself over it. 
Who else must she use if not me?-Ibirimo

No matter who she might have been using before, marriage changes the whole equation; it changes everything and I don’t think I need to tell her before she knows that. We are now one and we should be the custodians of each other’s progress and failures. That’s how marriage is designed. If I find out, I will be a bit annoyed and if I see that she’s ignorant about it, I will tell her the consequences. I am sure she will start using my name henceforth because who else must she use if not me?

What would you do guys?

Credit: Saturday Punch

1 comment:

  1. Lol @Kelvin.
    I would want to know why and see how we can rectify the issue. It's actually bad whether none is wealthy or not




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